2020 Goals – two weeks in

At the start of January, I made some commitments to myself. They’re not new year resolutions because I don’t think the work. More, these are things that I need to achieve for me to be healthy. After two weeks, I thought it worthwhile taking stock of how far I’ve come, and what I’ve learnt.

Smoking

The first goal was to pack in smoking. I’ve stuck to it, and have been surprisingly fine with it.

Drinking

The second was to stop drinking through the week, again I’ve stuck to it and am finding this one of the easier things to do, despite being worried that it would have been the hardest. Had a bottle of wine at the weekend, and really wasn’t a fan of how it made me the morning after. Sluggish and lethargic.

Exercise

Exercise is the one goal I think I’m doing the best with. Check out what I’ve managed to do in just 14 days:

Exercise specific lessons:

  • Running with a headtorch is like a weird computer game
  • Having the correct clothing makes or breaks an activity
  • Cycling is cold
  • Running is warm
  • Thinking of Strava titles is difficult
  • Logging everything really helps with motivation
  • Eating enough calories to replace the ones I’ve lost through exercise is hard work if done in a healthy way!

Creativity

This is the goal I’ve been worst at. In actuality, this is the first bit of my own writing I’ve done since the first post. And I haven’t picked up my sax. Be better.

Well-being

Another area I’m doing well at. I’ll break them down into three:

  1. Eating – I’ve managed to stay vegetarian. And I’m really enjoying it, apart from the curry I accidentally nearly bought last night.
  2. TV/Screen time – Much better, but still work to do. Reading before bed is making a big difference to my sleep
  3. Quality time with the family – we’ve been exercising together which has been really fun!

Summary

I’ve been going through a lot of changes all at once, but I think this en-masse shock to the system is probably what I needed. I no need to take it steady with exercise so I don’t injure myself, but I’m feeling great about it, and still manage to get out of bed every morning at 6:15 to get the run in!

New Year Resolutions 2020

2019 wasn’t a great year all told. For me, it was a tough one too, with lots of things that didn’t go to plan. There are things I’d like to achieve, and so while I won’t be tagging them under New Year’s Resolutions I do want to at least make notes of them. I suppose it’s easy to blame lack of focus and letting oneself go on being busy, but there are far busier people out there who manage to stick to the things that matter.

As with any goal, each one should be smart. That is, Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound. At this point, I’m adding as much detail as I can to each one so if I should wane, I’ve got something to read and remember why I’m doing each one.

I’m using technology to help me on the journey. All exercise is being logged with my watch.

1 – Smoking

Rationale I’m now not far off being 32. I’d like to be a part of Jasper’s life, and ultimately his own kids’ lives for a long time. There’s only one way to almost certainly make sure that doesn’t happen, and that’s by continuing to smoke.
Specific Give up smoking entirely. Not use social events as gateways to starting again.
Measurable Every day, have precisely zero cigarettes.
Achievable I’ve done it before, given I’ve got a fresh decade to go at this time. Stick to it.
Relevant It ties in with some of the other goals I’m wanting to achieve, and also is quite relevant to living a long life.
Time-bound I must recognise that breaking any habit will likely have moments of weakness. I can help these moments by committing to never buying cigarettes again.

2 – Drinking

Rationale It ties in with goal number 1. They go hand in hand, and part of forming new habits is breaking old ones. I don’t get drunk anymore, but I still drink a lot. This is me committing to my overall improvements.
Specific I will only drink on Fridays and Saturdays. I’m already good at not drinking at all on a Sunday but must now carry this over to the rest of the week.
Measurable Only drink on Fridays and Saturdays. Record all drinks on My Fitness Pal.
Achievable I already manage to not drink on a Sunday, so it’s just a case of extending this.
Relevant Using the same reasoning as for not drinking on a Sunday in that it’ll make me more productive, make me feel better and be generally more healthy which is the theme for this year.
Time-bound Ongoing throughout the year. All these targets will be continuous.

3 – Excercise

Rationale Over Christmas, we went to a trampolining park. Despite it being downright dangerous, I was very very aware of how unfit I was. I had a viral cold at the time, so really struggled, but even with that considered I was downright knackered after only a few jumps. I will not be a parent that can’t keep up with Jasper, not when I’m still in my 30s at least!
Specific This one is harder to be specific about and sat here writing this, I don’t want to make it up on the spot. I think without getting into training schedules and the like, I must do one active thing per day.
Measurable Every day, I will record on my watch. Be that steps, any runs or something I’d now like to do more of – go out cycling!
Achievable I want to make sure that all these new goals are stuck to. Therefore I won’t be setting large and difficult targets that are hard to stick to. Small incremental steps that are easy to do every day.
Relevant Like the goals before, these are all relevant to health. I should see compounding benefits realise if I manage to stick to all of these new targets.
Time-bound It’s a simple one – every day, do one bit of exercise.

4 – Creativity

Rationale I’m a creative person, and it’s the creative things I do that keep me sane. I enjoy these things, so wanted to set a goal that will hold me to account on making sure I make progress creatively. Also, if every week I can improve by only 1%, the gains realised over a year would be incredible.
Specific
  1. Writing. If I have more time on any given day, start writing again.
  2. Saxophone. At the very least, pick my saxophone up every day. Even if I play only one note, do it every day.
Measurable
  1. One sentence per day.
  2. At least one note played every day.
Achievable
  1. Very low goal length.
  2. One note? That doesn’t take long. I can help by leaving my saxophone in my study for the rest of the time.
Relevant
  1. Wellbeing is a wide concept. Not just physical health.
  2. I really enjoy the only hobby that I’ve stayed at for a long time. It feels like it’s time to get better at it.
Time-bound
  1. Very short amounts of time required to keep this up to date. All told, I think everything on this list will take no more than an hour every day.
  2. Not a lot of time required for this one, the importance is in forming a new habit.

5 – Well-being

Rationale This is a broad goal that I’m going to break down into manageable sections. If all other goals are met, this will likely improve of its own accord. However, there are things that I’d like to be specific about.
Specific
  1. Eating. We now eat well as a family, but I’d like to continue to be better. Especially when I travel or when I forget lunch.
  2. TV / Screen-time. The TV is a time-sink, and I need to find a balance between relaxing and watching it too much.
  3. Quality time with the family.
Measurable
  1. No meat. No McDonald’s breakfasts or lunches in normal working hours. Bring healthy lunch every day. Do more research on healthy lunches that are easy to prep.
  2. Keep it to one TV programme per day. No phone in bed at all.
  3. A short diary entry on Garmin Connect.
Achievable
  1. Very achievable. Just need to stay organised, and when that breaks down be better with quick food.
  2. Break the sofa habit. Once that’s done we’ll be away.
  3. Easy to document, and the act of documenting should improve mindfulness.
Relevant Each of the three is very closely tied with general well-being. Healthy eating, reducing the amount of time in front of screens and having a great relationship with my family.
Time-bound Small incremental improvements each day.

Influencing what…

Influencer marketing
Description: Influencer marketing is a form of social media marketing involving endorsements and product placements from influencers, people and organizations who possess an expert level of knowledge and/or social influence in their respective fields. Wikipedia

That’s what Wikipedia has to say on the matter. But I don’t buy it. I’ve now completely deleted Instagram because of the pervasive culture of influencers weedling into every feed with the scatter-blitz of hashtags. There are people on the platform I used to follow and enjoy reading about and watching. People who were top of their fields, or experts, or damn good at this or that.

However, the term ‘influencers’ seems to be ever-more synonymous with entitled rich pricks. This merry band of half-wits seem to add nothing to this world other than a significant carbon footprint and blindingly over-simplified observations. There is truly nothing to be gleaned from these people other than spiral descents of depression in teenagers with the gulf in perceived quality of life. If there is one good thing to come out of it all, it’s the Fyre Festival documentary. They need to rebadge it as a comedy. Absolutely wonderful to watch ‘influencers’ stranded in event shelters.

Wonderment: A dying pastime

wonderment. Noun.
won·​der·​ment | \ ˈwən-dər-mənt \
Definition of wonderment
1 : a cause of or occasion for wonder
2 : ASTONISHMENT, SURPRISE
3 : curiosity about something

How does a fridge work? How from heating something up can you create a block of cold air? It baffles me. However, this very question led me down a peculiar train of thought.

I have memories of being a child, being ferried in the car realising I didn’t know the answer to something I was pondering. In the vast majority of cases, dad would be able to answer them, usually involving something to do with technical aspects of this or that. However, in the times where dad didn’t know the answer, for instance, the time I asked with no irony if he could run me through the principles of the Bernoulli effect he’d say you’ll have to look at the encyclopedia when you get home. Infuriating when the question comes up on the first day of a two week holiday.

So instead of knowing the answer, I’d stare out the window and run through different possibilities and imagine the various outcomes. Occasionally difficult when at a standing start in the principles of flight, but rolling the window down it was possible to feel the pressure differential with a tilted hand in the airflow.

So driving today the usual happened. I wondered how did a fridge actually work? “Hey Google. How does a fridge work?” In that moment, I realised that even my unquenching thirst for obscure knowledge has become part of the dopamine gratification cycle. A question pops up, and you can solve it in seconds. So instead of Google reading me the top search result over my car stereo, I turned it off and wondered instead.

I now wonder, (see what I did?) whether having all the information in the world in our pocket will stifle some element of our natural inquisitive nature. I know for certain that it plays a large part in no longer having to remember things. Who remembers phone numbers nowadays? But is there any point in wondering how something works, when the information is so readily available? My theory here is that over time we will become less inquisitive, and therefore be less creative in solving problems that don’t exist.

I should say here that I’m not a Luddite. I think the benefits far outweigh my parochial essay on kids not wondering, but I do think it’s very sad.

Being bored, wondering, musing. These things lead to a child’s creativity. I hope our connectedness isn’t the start of creative diminishment.

In case you were wondering though, a fridge has a compressor which constricts the refrigerant vapor, raising its pressure, and pushes it into the coils at the back of your fridge. When the hot gas in the coils meets the cooler air temperature of the kitchen, it becomes a liquid. Now in liquid form at high pressure, the refrigerant cools down as it flows into the coils inside the freezer and the fridge. The refrigerant absorbs the heat inside the fridge, cooling down the air. And finally, the refrigerant evaporates to a gas, flows back to the compressor, where the cycle starts all over.

I didn’t wonder for too long.

To Be Sworn

Disclaimer: While I can now talk openly about the cases, the oath I took means I cannot discuss the deliberations that took place, who fulfilled which role and how the votes were cast, other than in both trials the decision were unanimous – which is a matter of public record.

Jury comes from the Latin Jurati: “To be sworn”, which makes sense given that’s the first thing you’re asked to do on a case.

“I solemnly and sincerely declare and affirm that I will give a true verdict according to the evidence” 

I’ve wanted to do Jury Duty for some time. It’s one of the core pillars of the judiciary, being able to act as an impartial participant in the outcome of criminal trials. As a juror, you’re tasked with finding a defendant either Guilty or Not Guilty based on the evidence you’re presented with alone. I found the entire experience a combination of very interesting and incredibly dull.

The two weeks starts with the formalities you can probably expect: identification, verification, paperwork and inductions. It’s a pretty dull morning, but then you’re spat out into the jurors waiting room and some amount of excitement builds. I was in a room of perhaps 150 people split between new people like me and people on their second week. Some of those on their second week were on trials that had carried over the weekend, and it was here I noticed the peculiar hushed quiet that surrounds those on a case. These groups of 12 people are forbidden from discussing the trial with each other other than when they’re all together and cannot be overheard. So instead of accidentally letting slip, they tend to fan out to sit at opposite ends of the waiting room.

I spent three days sat reading a book, which was lovely to start with. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to just sit and read, and it was great to get some reading done. It did however cost me £50 at Waterstones… Then on the fourth day I was called into the first pool.

A pool is a group of 15 people that are taken down to the courts. From there, you wait anxiously to be called into the courtroom itself. Once there, the Clerk randomly chooses 12 of the group to move into the jurors’ box. After each name is called, the defendant is given the opportunity to reject any of the jurors. The judge can consider the reason and either allow or deny that decision to carry. In both the trials I heard this didn’t happen. After the 12 are seated, you’re asked to either take an oath or affirmation dependant on your religious views. And so begins the presentation of the evidence.

The judge who presided over both the trials I heard was the same, The Honourable Mr Justice Batty. If ever I heard someone great at communicating to a diverse audience it was this man. He took a very solemn, and procedurally complicated process and explained it in a simple way that wasn’t in the least condescending or patronising. Quite a feat.

It then fell to the long and arduous process of hearing evidence, which in both trials was done solely through witnesses. This involves a lot of repetition, and both the prosecution and defence try to find inconsistencies. Indeed, a lot of the tactics employed are designed to try and find inconsistencies, but as the trial went on I wasn’t entirely sure that was a useful endeavour. Of course, gaps in the stories, contradictions and different accounts were abound, but their relevance as to whodunnit wasn’t clear, other than in shaping the character of the witness. However, one instruction is clear from the start: try the case on the evidence you’re given alone. Do not let sympathy or any other emotion sway you’re decision in light of the evidence available.

My cases aside, I was a little shocked with the process applied for the more serious cases, which I had the chance to be on. A much larger pool of people is assembled, and brought together. You are told that the case will be a much longer one, and those that can’t take extended time away should let it be known. Clearly, anyone with a professional job, or the self employed cannot be on these cases. In reality, that means the most serious cases are heard by jurors that are low paid or unemployed. I’m not suggesting this group of people will necessarily make a bad or incorrect decision, but the whole randomness of the juror process goes out the window for cases of any length. It therefore means that a good cross-section of society represented in a panel of jurors is very unlikely.

Walking into the courtroom, I imagined that it would be a very fair and sound process for everyone involved. However in reality, it’s a minefield of subjectivity, unconscious assumptions and perception rather than a decision based on facts. It’s also clear that a confident and reassured person can with some ease influence the outcome of collective decision of the jury. I now understand how in some cases, sentences are handed to the wrong people. That said, I can’t think of a fairer way to do it.

Weird alien zombies

I’ve been strangely accepting of a new norm that has sidled into the mainstream, but sat watching it happen live has kickstarted me into literary action.

People on my news feed, in the most part the fairer version of our species, are seemingly becoming mutant alien zombie type of things. You must have seen it too. I can’t help but wonder if my cyber friends are actually being replaced under a new guise of ‘filters’, or whether they are as claimed: filters.

Either seems plausible, and either seems just as ridiculous.

Surely it can’t be just me that thinks it’s the most utterly ridiculous concept. The flowers, and other bits of wildlife in the hair I kind of get, but the alien-like massive eyes, bizarre ears belonging to other creatures and miniscule nose is just straight up creepy. I just don’t get it, not even a little bit. I’ve definitely missed the memo.

Purgatory : Caffè Nero

Coffee shops are a bit of an enigma to me. I don’t think anyone actually wants to be in one. I know I certainly don’t, which makes me ponder then when we pay so much for something as innocuous as coffee. I have next to me a £3 mug of the stuff, which is all very well, if not a little too hot and thus has a slight scalded taste, but at home that would cost about 20p, yet we’re willing to pay such a premium for somewhere we don’t actually want to be. And yet, coffee shops are the fastest growing retail opportunity in the UK right now, far outstripping the rate in which pubs are closing.

So what do I mean when I say nobody actually wants to be at one. They’re merely a conduit for something else, a forum, a channel. Call it what you will, it’s like nobody wants to be in a pub I suppose, the beer is over-priced, you’ve got to put up with drunken idiots (and they’re just the people you’re there to meet) and yet we flock to these institutions.

I take faith therefore that we endure these lukewarm environments in order to foster our relationships. In an age of all-too digital interconnectedness, here we are still meeting up, laughing and sharing stories. You hear a constant stream of facts like teenage pregnancies are falling because they can’t diddle one another through their phones. But I look around here, and see people having a good time. It makes me all positive inside, which is a bonus given I’m only here to waste time between meetings…

Piste from the East

As the country ground to a halt, and business panicked about everything to do with snow and travel, me and Jasper headed out onto the hill piste behind us to go for our first ever proper bit of sledging. Here’s the results:

Are we in a moral crash?

I worry very deeply about separatism. I guess it’s in our DNA to want to commune with people like ourselves, and to form tribes. Our inherent distrust of things we don’t know is an in-built defense mechanism from times when civilisation wasn’t so… civilised.

But we’ve come a very long way since then. We walk upright, we cooperate, share ideas and understand concepts that look to serve bigger things than those of a single person. We work together collectively to solve problems and make enormous advances in every possible discipline that we humans touch, and some things we don’t. We put ourselves out of pocket financially or with other resources to help drive the things that matter for future generations. We finally seemed to be changing course on the Titanic reference to looking after our planet. But in 2017 we took a monumental step back.

I’m no hippy. However I do subscribe to some of the ideals they have, the differences individuals can make. Being diligent with recycling, conserving energy, not being part of the ridiculous consumerist culture and eating more sustainably sourced food. I am aware though there is a selfish motivation too – I want the world to be as pretty tomorrow as it is today, if not for me, for Jasper and his kids to come.

In 2017 the most developed nation on the planet appointed an insular, selfish, Neanderthal as its leader. Someone who casually discounts all the things our species has been doing for the good of mankind and the planet we call home. It makes me so incredibly angry that this horrid example of our species can lead the free world, but also that a fairly large wedge of society put him there. I’m also so angry that despite a constant stream of news that 10 years ago would have caused outrage in the prestigious corridors of the white house are now, fittingly, white washed into oblivion and that the morally blind continue to support this lesion of society.

However, in my last job working in stockbroking, a phrase that was thrown around quite a lot was the idea of a correction. Where advancement has taken place too quickly (in this example, with the price of an index or exchange) it would self correct – the price would fall to a price that more accurately represents the underlying value of the asset.

To turn that into an analogy, I wonder if Trump is our correction. Are we progressing too quickly along our path to moral enlightenment, so much so that our tiny minds can’t keep up? For four years we head backwards and then we can pick back up again. This gives me some hope, especially when you look at the corrections on the global markets, in this instance represented by the Dow.

To keep the analogy going, I wonder if these crashes are the financial versions of our species’ own lows, and we’re just in the latest one. I do hope so.

Consumerist Christmas

Being a consumer has for some time caused me some amount of angst, as I can’t help but feel complicit in someone else’s plan. I’m not the type to say the government or large corporations are controlling us into becoming drone-consumers, but I do think that’s where the collective conscious might be heading – most behaviours are rewarded by the acquisition of material things.

Perversely, I’ve been a marketeer, so I was one of the people whose job it was to prize money from the hands of consumers. Again, I’m not doing that to control people, but because the company I worked for had the ambition to be profitable (and you can kind of understand why) it was my job to think of ways to extract money from folks. Me doing my job well meant – you guessed it – reward!

This is all part of the ever so gradual shift in mindset amongst a gaggle of generations. It was this Christmas that got me thinking about all of this. I sat watching my house full of gifts and happy people, and I should have been very happy. I was to be honest, but because of the people. However the overriding feeling I had, and still have is one of guilt. In our house we’re successful as most definitions would have it. We want for nothing, and yet we still strive for the next thing or event. We can’t sit back and think “Yep, this is enough”. Everything has to be geared towards growth and acceleration.

I wonder if me fighting this mindset is fighting the very thing that made humans as they are today. If it’s the in-built desire for improvement that has borne our advancement. If that is the case, I wonder if it’s all part of a closed system, and that it will be our demise too. Like a virus we’ll consume every ounce of the planet and then perish ourselves.

I wonder then if the next really big development in how we evolve won’t be technologically or politically, but instead spiritually? I’m not about to start preaching to a magic sky man, I haven’t made my mind up about religion just yet, but instead I mean our ability to understand life itself. I certainly couldn’t answer the questions – “What’s the point of life?”. The capitalist culture we live in is doomed to fail – I have no doubt whatsoever about that. They say that share price should always reflect the value of the underlying asset so the constant drive for more will of course fail. The Earth is a closed system!

After the over indulgences of Christmas we all hopped in the van and fled for the basics. We camped in a couple of freezing fields with only a small fan heater, no Wi-Fi, technology or even an ECU on the van and I felt so happy and relaxed. It was this very excursion that made me want to write this piece in the first place. What’s funny though, as soon as we got home, dependency on technology and the desire to be a good consumer goes up and would you believe… stress goes up too. Funny that.